Bored, sitting at home, and came across a delightful article from the Courier Mail about some fuckwit getting sacked by a brewery for his YouTube videos:

AN autistic online comedian has been sacked from his job at the Foster’s Yatala brewery for making YouTube videos that offended his employers.

Packager Karl Tilcock, who lives in Windaroo and supports a wife and two autistic children, performs offbeat humour as a hobby under the name AustDingo. One of his fans, Sydney resident Raul Isidro, has slammed Foster’s for its “unAustralian” reaction.

“He’s got a disability. He has no way to defend himself,” Mr Isidro said, while the Liquor, Hospitality and Miscellaneous Union state secretary Gary Bullock said the dismissal was unfair.

…

A Foster’s spokeswoman said Mr Tilcock was warned repeatedly about making videos in violation of company policy, and the backdrop of some videos showed he was at work when he produced them.

“We re-explained the rules to him after the initial warning,” she said. “He was making disparaging remarks and defaming the company.”

Mr Tilcock admitted making a video ridiculing a manager.

“I’m struggling. It’s hard at the moment,” he said. “I think it’s gone past the point of getting my job back.”

You will note that his name is Karl Tilcock.

Karl Tilcock.

TILCOCK.

As in, COMPLETE FUCKING COCKHEAD.

For starters, if you actually look at his “Ewe Chube” channel, you’ll see that this fuckwit is not in the slightest bit funny whatsofuckingever. So his claim of being a “comedian” goes right out the fucking window. I would rather shove my cock into a nest of bees rather than watch in full any fucking video he has made.

Secondly, from what I read of him removing certain videos at the request of Fosters, I question the claim from one of his fans that “… he has no way of defending himself”. Fucking bullshit. He looks capable of making retarded videos and he clearly understands the implications of doing so (after receiving warnings and requests from Fosters and acting upon them), so I reckon he can fucking look after himself.

Thirdly, I highly doubt that Fosters would sack an employee right off the bat for such an infringement, unless it was really fucking severe. They gave this cockhead a warning, and yet he continues to ridicule his employers. He even goes as far as to admitting he produced a video ridiculing his boss. I get the impression they tried to point him in the right direction, explain to him what was acceptable and what was not, and he was too fucking stupid to do the right thing.

Furthermore, claiming you have autism does not give you a fucking license to act how you please with no fucking responsibility. Simple as that.

Karl Tilcock can go fuck himself with a steak knife.

EDIT:

Just as I posted this, I was reading through the Reader Comments section under the story on the Courier Mail site. What appears to be Karl’s wife weighs into the debate (perhaps proof that he CAN’T actually defend himself):

Unfortunately, not all the facts are in the story. This goes quite a way back. But more recently, he did not, as the company claim, get repeated warnings, and he did not make several videos at work. All videos were made on his own time at home, however, there was at most, a 10 sec clip from within the grounds. But regardless of what was done, he did remove videos when requested by the deadline set by the company. Even tho’ they watched all videos, they did not specify what videos to remove.

Priscilla Tilcock

So first up you claim that he didn’t make videos at work, but then he did? Make your fucking mind up, bitch. It’s fucking regardless where and how he made the videos. Even if he did make them on his own time, if they were indeed disparaging towards Fosters then he’s fucked. I didn’t know that autism was contagious, you stupid fucking whore.

Then Karl himself joins in:

while some of you go for gold medals in the sport of Jumping to conclusions let me add the facts of 1) The first I heard of them having a problem with my vids was on July 23rd. While they had watched them they did not include a list of which vids only made a refernce to 2 by their description. They said to remove all videos verbally or visually that refer to a fosters employee. They were to be removed by the 25th. I removed those 2 plus about 20 others where I was using a HI-Vis jacket as a comedic prop in my Ewe-Chube safety videos. Since I am VISUALY in the videos and was Fosters employee, I took it they wanted my whole channel shut down. Not doing that when I have FAMILY videos up. 2) 2 weeks LATER I get a FULL list of which videos they wanted down. had the majority already down, some I wasnt going to ” Re-Druken Vlog” is 1 where I spent my own money to sent VB merchindise to the UK. 3) The Autism thing wouldnt be such a big deal if Fosters did not try to tell me that I cant show my letter of diagnosis on Youtube.( which i have in writing). 4) Open my channel and my video explaining it will start to play See ya round like a rissole!! Dingo

No sir, you get a gold medal for being a complete fucking knobshiner. Go shove your fucking stupid head up the cunt of a dead whale.

It’s not often that I frequent McDonald’s. Mainly for reasons I have pointed out before: the food sucks, the service is crap and I hate dealing with the incompetent fuckwits who are employed to work there. I think the last time I actually bought food from there was back in February, for an emergency breakfast prior to departing for Tasmania. Which ended up making me sick.

The other night, I had a fucking weird craving for scones. With jam. And the only place you’re going to get a fucking scone at 2am is the McCafe. Plus I thought I’d get a tasty snack for the young lady, as being the bearer of tasty snacks and other such gifts greatly increases my chances of getting some sexytime.

First stop was South Melbourne McDonald’s. After ordering and paying, the cockheads then informed me that there weren’t actually any scones available.

So I asked “What about the two you’ve got in the display cabinet?”

“They’re stale. Only there for display so people know what they can order, you know”.

… fuckwits.

After getting a full refund, I moved on to Elsternwick McDonald’s. They’ve just recently renovated their store and it now includes a McCafe.

So I walked in, and saw a number of very fresh looking scones sitting in the display cabinet. Along with a selection of tasty snacks for me to purchase for the young lady. Then I had to deal with the fucking monkey at the counter.

“Two scones please, jam, no cream”.

“Scones?”

“… Yeah, two scones. No cream please, just jam”.

At this point, the fucktard turns around to look at the menu.

“I don’t think we sell scones”.

“Yes, you do. I want two of them, with jam, no cream”.

At this point, he had the good sense to go get his team leader/manager/duty fuckwit to deal with the situation that was clearly unable to fathom or deal with. Thankfully, he knew what a fucking scone was, and knew exactly what to do.

“And I’d also like a chocolate donut please”.

“We don’t sell don..”, before being cut off by his manager.

“Go out the back.”

Eventually, I got my fucking scones (with jam, no cream) and my fucking chocolate donut. A purchase which should take no fucking longer than 2 minutes ended up taking 10 minutes thanks to the fucking incompetence of these fucking monkeys, plus the manager insisting on warming the scones and donut individually.

Clearly to work at McDonald’s you need a PhD in Retardology. Fuck McDonald’s, fuck the fucking monkey employees and fuck everyone who doesn’t agree with me square up the back passage.

To make matters worse, the young lady fell asleep after consuming her tasty snack.

So, here I am sitting at home bored shitless. I’ve lost my voice due to a nasty case of laryngitis (fuck off, Kempy) and there’s nothing to do. Nothing worth doing anyway. So I suppose I should walk you through some of the August stats.

Here they are:

• The usual labia related searches appeared, but interestingly, their frequency has been reducing lately. Although, we did get labia torture, home made labia torture, flaming labia, labia party, massive labia videos and dog labia picture.
• Someone came looking for a customer complaint form example gymnasium.
• Another was after disgusting scientology sexfests, while someone else wanted violent protest clowns raped by kool aid mascot pictures.
• mike willisee wheel of cheese surprisingly made several appearances.
• One person wanted to find out about shemales on stilts, and someone else was after shemale midgets on stilts.

Although, I’m not sure which one of these two were my favourite: britney spears stuck inside grand piano or suicide jump wanking before impact movie.

Sick fuckers.

I am often mocked by the young lady for having a large collection of Elton John music on the iPod. As you kids say, it may be “uncool”, but I like his music.

He may be a bit of a nancyboy, but today I came to learn that you do not fuck with Sir Elton John:

Lily Allen and Elton John row on stage

IT was a case of new versus old when songstress Lily Allen and Sir Elton John hosted an awards night - and quickly came to verbal blows.

The due were hosting the GQ Men of the Year Awards in London and, according to the Daily Mail, young Lily insisted on sipping champagne throughout the ceremony.

The tabloid said it was not long before Allen was slurring her words and swearing copiously - much to Sir Elton’s horror.

On more than one occasion, Sir Elton could be seen having a stern word with her between awards.

When she came to announce ‘…and now the most important part of the night’, Elton said:’ What? Are you going to have another drink?’

Allen retorted: ‘F— off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!’

The audience fell silent, but Sir Elton was not to be bested.

“I could still snort you under the table.”

Sir Elton 1, Dumb slut 0. Your move.

Reading through The Age website this morning, I happened across an article about some fucktard who plans to intentionally park in a clearway to protest extended clearway times that have recently gone into operation.

Retailer takes a stand on clearway

A RICHMOND retailer will this morning park his car in a Punt Road clearway and pray it gets towed away in a challenge to controversial new road laws.

“This is my first-ever act of civil disobedience,” said Herschel Landes, who runs Landes Clothing in Bridge Road.

Mr Landes will park in a clearway by the MCG at 9.30 this morning in the hope of being hit with a fine of $113 and having his car towed by Melbourne City Council.

He is protesting against the Brumby Government’s Keeping Melbourne Moving plan.

…

Mr Landes has already taken VicRoads to the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal to challenge clearway changes.

VicRoads denies it has breached the legislation, and has challenged Mr Landes’ right to take it to VCAT.

What a complete selfish fucking cunt. Personally, I am in full favour of these extended clearway times. There is no longer a morning peak or evening peak - traffic is generally fucked all day. Short of knocking down shops and houses to widen roads, there is fuck all else the government can implement to improve traffic flow, for both cars and public transport.

Mr Landes, in his protest, is willing to risk penalties and fees in excess of $500 to prove his point. Which isn’t going to impress anyone. All it’s going to achieve is money into the pockets of the local council and the towing company, and he’s going to be without a car until he goes to collect it (paying towing fees in the process). Then, it wouldn’t surprise me if the stupid cunt then takes it to court to challenge the validity of it all, thus wasting everyones time in the process. It wouldn’t surprise me if the dumb fuck then uses this is an excuse to increase prices in his store simply to cover the cost of his adventures in Lawland.

I’m guessing that the crybaby bitch is taking this action as he failed in his action against VicRoads at VCAT. Said hearing took place on the 29th of August 2008, and unfortunately I can’t find the VCAT decision online - although I suspect it will appear in a few days.

His Richmond store is directly opposite a tram stop served by two fucking tram routes, plus is a short stroll from a third tram route in Church St. I prove my point with this image lifted from Google StalkerStreet View:

Not only that, but the nearest train station is a 5 min walk away, and there are also numerous bus routes within walking distance. No fucking reason why his customers can’t use public transport instead of driving.

In conclusion, Herschel Landes is a dumb, greedy cunt who is thinking only about himself. I may have to write him a letter explaining this to him.

So, it’s the end of the AFL season for 2008, and we move into the finals. Only appropriate to do a footy joke.

What’s the difference between a pyromaniac and the Melbourne Demons?

A pyromaniac wouldn’t waste 22 matches.

CARN THE SAINTS!

It’s been a while, but it’s time again for me to share with you the wisdom of the tards from NotGoodEnough, our favourite crybaby can’t-get-my-way fuckwit story repository. Today, I give you 3 dumb fucks:

First up, NGE member roxytom bleats:

Big W advertised a 42″ plasma television for $794. The sale started today July 24 and runs until August 6. The store opens at 8.30am, I arrived at 9.15am to purchase a television only to be told they had sold out and there was a sold out sticker across the catalogue stuck up at the entrance. I asked the woman at the entry how many they had when the store opened and she replied 2 or 3 and they had sold out the moment the store opened. I called Big W head office as soon as I got home (around 10am) and asked them to please help me find a television, I was finally told that was impossible, every store had very limited stock and had already sold out.

I am very annoyed at this, it is clearly bait advertising (get people in and then sell them a more expensive television). The brochure that was delivered to our house was very large with a giant fold out spread of this television and it’s ‘amazing’ price, nowhere on the catalogue does it state that there is limited stock, nor does it say that there are no rainchecks. The sale runs for an entire week yet they only supplied their stores with enough televisions for the first few minutes of the first day of the sale. I have experienced this with Big W on numerous occasions, I have been at their doors the moment they open on the first day of a sale only to find a widely publicised and advertised special already sold out. I feel Big W should be investigated heavily regarding their use of bait advertising.

I want to punch roxytom square in the fucking cunt. While I am in no way defending Big W or their procedures, would it not occur to this retarded fuckwit that if 42″ plasma televisions are being sold for such a cheap price they would be sold exceptionally quickly? I’m guessing the Big W catalogue goes out to thousands of households across the country (or, at least in areas in the Big W catchment area) and that there are not infinite quantities of stock available.

Protip: Just because something sells out quickly does not fucking mean it’s “bait and switch” you stupid fucking cunt. Perhaps the solution to your television woes is to open your legs, fart out a baby and buy a nice new shiny plasma with the huge fucking baby bonus you’ll receive.

Actually, on second thought, I don’t want you breeding. Ignore that last part.

Fucktard klubear bitches:

I am a Lunch van driver & have called into the Energy Cafe in Laverton every morning for the last 2 years.
I buy a coffee scroll every day, a paper & sometimes a sandwich or cigarettes.
On this particular morning, or the start of this rubbish. I was not in such a good mood…my sister in law was on life support in hospital, so I may have been a little sensitive. but that’s irrelevant.
I prefer an Apple scroll, & they are tossed in a basket on top of the counter with several other cakes, so I flick through to find one.
I have also several times had one that tastes a few days old, so I look for the fresher ones.
the woman serving glared at me & I glared right back at her. She said “there are no apple scrolls don’t touch them!”
I returned to her ” They are wrapped in plastic tightly, I have gloves on & I have a certificate in food handling, what is your problem?”
She then started harassing me.
I told her I had been there every day for a 2 years & had never had an issue. She replied “well guess what? DON’T”
I was shocked more than anything else.
But returned the next day, thinking it was ridiculous & I would forget about it.
The woman removed the cake tray from the counter & refused to give me one!
There were several customers & I was humiliated!!
I told her of an occasion a few weeks before when i had bought an egg roll, unwrapping it to be faced with a repulsive smell! the egg was off.
I had taken it back, very politely & exchanged it & reassured the lady serving me then that I was not upset..
After I had explained this to the woman in question…. pointed in my face & viciously told me to get out!!!! I know that this cannot be legal!!! I then faced several ladies yelling at me infront of a shop full of people.!!
I was sooooooooo embarrassed.
If that was not enough, the next day, my friend went in to get me a scroll….she was also refused service.
I wrote a very passionate letter of complaint outlining the effect it had on me, my view of customer service, the incident with off food, the treatment I had received, & asked for an appropriate resolution.
This morning, when i arrived at work, I was given a dressing down by my manager!!
This woman was apparently the cafe owner & had pulled mymanager aside, told her all the details of my letter, including my sister trying to commit suicide, &that I had threatened to take it further!!!!
I could not believe it!!
I did not once mention the name of my company &emphasized it was a personal matter!!!

What I want is to make this woman see how wrong she is & learn that she cannot treat people in this way!!!
Where do I start?! it seems such a petty thing, but to me it is about dignity, lack of respect, lack of privacy, & a damned right bitch who needs to pull her head in!!!!

any advice about law in regards to this would be great!

To start, I have to apologise. I don’t actually have any advice with regards to the legal aspect of this, but I do have some general advice: Go jump in front of a truck.

Now, I’ve always said that there are two sides to every story, and I’d be very interested to hear the other side to this one. Because, to be quite honest, I believe that klubear is full of shit. Yes, fucktard, a store can ask you to leave or ban you from their premises for any fucking reason, and yes, it is “completely legal!!!!”. Retailers can refuse service to anyone. In future, you may want to read up on things first before making a complete dick of yourself. Also, I suggest that you follow in your the footsteps of your sister and attempt suicide. Thanks.

Member petrina moans:

Having been getting my groceries home delivered from coles online for many years, and paying the higher prices to shop on line, the delivery fees etc, I discovered today that they have, without bothering to notify their customers, significantly changed the service. From now apparently, home delivery, means literally that - to your home - outside the front door. Not one foot inside your door will they step. They claim this has “always” been the policy and that all 30 or so drivers who have delivered my orders previously broken the rules by taking the order beyond my front door.
They say this policy exists due to “safety and insurance”. I should explain this to the next repairman who tries to enter my house to deliver the service I paid for. If you are going to be in the business of providing a premium service at a premium price, then you have to allow for allow for all the costs to provide the service you are selling.
Good luck finding the policy on the coles website and don’t bother trying their only competitor Woolworths Home Shop. They use the same drivers therefore the same policy. Or is it Linfoxes policy?
Looks like I am going back to trudging the aisles, and it will have to be Aldi

What the metric fuck are you on about, bitch? Since days of old long gone, Coles (and Safeway) have only delivered to the front fucking door. According to the Coles Online website, delivery charges range between $9 and $15 (at least for the Spatula Publishing Corp HQ area) depending on the delivery you request. That’s hardly a fucking premium charge, you stupid cunt, especially considering you can probably waddle your fat fucking arse down to the store, get some exercise in the process and save yourself some cheddar. Consider it a lazy fat fuckwit tax. Furthermore, is it that fucking hard for you to carry some groceries from the front door to your kitchen? Why the fuck should the deliverybitch be expected to do that for you?

Your fucking analogy of a repairman coming to your house makes no fucking sense, and you should just shut the fuck up.

Fuck you, fuck your family and fuck your little dog too.

This morning I asked the young lady if I could have a handjob.

Sometimes I wish you were a premature ejaculator, so that when you ask for a handjob it can just be “womp womp pfft” and then it’s all over.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get one

One of the best things about the Herald Sun these days is being able to comment on their stories via their website. Or, stir up the easily riled readers. Sometimes they take the bait, other times it goes straight over their stupid fucking heads.

The Herald Sun published an article about Fairfax giving the 550 jobs the arse, and I couldn’t resist leaving a comment. 12 hours later, they published it:

Somehow, I don’t think whoever was moderating the comments realised that I was having a go at them.

Wassup bitches, it’s Tuesday!

As a result of the Royal Commission into Political Correctness In Victoria recently undertaken, the state government have announced that the local climate may no longer be referred to as “Melbourne weather”.

So, in other words, partly Sunni but mostly Shi’ite.

I thank you.